A Song From the Heart: My Only Wish
by Black-and-Scarlet
Summary: I wanted to see him again, and even though I'm exhausted and weak, I continue singing and dancing for him. Just for him. Only for him. My wish wasn't granted for a long time, and I wondered if it ever will be.  Bad summary, I know


I watched as the sun slowly made its way down, hiding behind the seemingly vast ocean laid in front of me. Its rays gave a final orange effect to the endless sky and the clouds strolling by lazily seemed to glow around it, then finally, it disappeared. And once again, everything around me was covered in complete darkness. Night has come.

The streetlights flickered on, providing little guide for night travelers like myself. I stood still and took in the familiar scent of early evening air. I tucked some loose strands of my blond hair behind my ear. It was cold, as always, and I found myself wrapping my arms around my own shoulders to somehow stay warm for the night.

But I knew it was all useless. The night was young, and the temperature will only drop some more later on. Perhaps it was a good thing, but…

If I did stop moving, will I be able to go to the same place as _he_ did?

It grew quiet. People disappear as fast as the sun did. I turned on my heels and head off. To where, I'm not entirely sure. Just like the nights before, I had no particular place or destination in mind. I just walk and allow my feet to take me anywhere.

The only sounds I heard were the creaking and echoing of horse carriages' wheels against the pavement. I looked around me once, and saw that I wasn't alone yet. But, I was the only one traveling by foot. The thought made me feel lonely.

I used to have a home. I used to have a purpose. I used to have a place to go. I used to have someone, but now…

Only one question kept repeating itself in my mind.

_For what reason was I born?_

The answer seemed unimportant to me before. That was when I was with him. Hegave me all the reason for my life and being, but now that he's gone, everything was like a blur to me. Nothing was clear anymore. Everything confused me.

I clutched a hand to my chest, right above where my heart should be. It hurt there a lot. It wasn't physical pain, but something much deeper and more difficult to heal and understand. It was emotional pain. And it felt like a burning hole in my chest, and as time moved it grew larger and larger up to the point where it seemed to be impossible to repair. I could no longer mend it.

If only, I were still with him, maybe, just maybe, things would be a little less hard and easier to comprehend. And so I decided that I continue to do what he asked me to do before.

He taught me how to sing and dance. He taught me beautiful melodies and graceful movements. He showed me what I believed to be love, and he gave my existence a purpose.

Perhaps that was the answer to my question.

I was born, only to sing and dance for him forever. And now, even if we're apart and reaching him really seemed impossible, I will continue to sing and dance for him. Then I remembered what he used to call me. Yes, that's right.

I was his special doll.

His memory brought a temporary smile to my pale lips, and I blinked a couple of times. For now, and always, I only have one wish in my heart.

I wanted to be with him again. Forever.

I wanted to reach him.

But, as moments passed, so many sunrises and sunsets, smiles and laughter, tears and sorrow disappeared and gone, my wish still wasn't granted.

I felt weak. My body was slowly starting to rot, and the urge to see you grew more and more. Still I sing, even if you were never to open your eyes. Even if you never spoke or moved, I'll sing. Just for you. Only for you.

I was completely alone by now, and the street was totally empty. Not a single soul was in sight except for myself. Even the horse carriages were long gone, and as I expected, it grew colder as the night grew deeper. The moon was full above and gave off a nice glow, with a few stars twinkling as if watching over me. The streetlight I was standing under flickered on and off for a few moments. Electricity was inadequate. Only the rich could afford it, and the poor had to settle for candles. The ones who were said to be middle-class were able to have enough electricity for a light bulb or two.

I trailed my fingers to the waist of my frilly and torn yellow dress, sliding them up slowly until they rested on my heart once more, and I sang.

_Yoru no kono machi akari ga tomoru  
Kishimu haguruma to sharin no oto  
Hibi kasete aruita  
Yuku ate mo naku  
Umaku aruke nakute mo_

I couldn't quite remember where I first learned this song; whether he taught it to me, or I heard it from somewhere and come to memorize it, or maybe… I was the one who made it. The song belonged to me, and I made it for him.

_Watashi wa naze umareta no deshou  
Naze shinzou wa gin no iro nano_

I closed my wide aqua-colored eyes and took in a deep breath, filling my lungs with air before I begun spinning around with my arms extended at my sides.

_Tooi mukashi ni ano hito ga itta  
"Kimi wa tokubetsu na ningyou" da to  
Odori utai kare ni homerareru you ni  
Ima mo utatteru zutto  
Kare ga me o samasa nakute mo utaou_

I leaped up and down, though I felt weak, and soon the night seemed full of life around me.

_Watashi wa naze umareta no deshou  
Tada eien ni utai tsudzukeru  
Itsuka wa nemuri tsuki  
Ano hito no iru suteki na basho e  
Negai wa kanawanai  
Hitori utai ikite kowarete  
_

Then, all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, I saw him. I didn't know whether it was my hallucination or imagination, nor did I care. The vision was only quick and it vanished in an instant. I paused for a while and felt something stir in my chest. It was a warm and sudden feeling.

_Toki ga nagarete  
Uta mo wasurete  
Ano hito nemuru basho e to isogu  
Hibi wareta karada o hikizuri nagara  
Nando koronde mo  
_

I continued singing, and I pressed a hand to my heart.

_Umi no mieru basho ni hana o soe  
Saa nemurasete  
Ano hito to tomo ni  
_

Then the vision returned, and I saw a field of flowers in front of me. It was a really beautiful sight. There were tons of colorful blooms everywhere, and a clear, cloudless blue sky could be seen above. The grass was a fresh green and the trees were lush, standing tall and their branches extended in different directions providing shade. The sun was visible high up, and birds flew from here to there. Butterflies fluttered around the garden at one side, and a sparkling lake rested in one corner.

Perfection.

That was the only word I could think of to describe what I saw. But, there was one more thing that made my heart beat so quickly.

_Negai o kanae mashou  
"Kimi wa juubun hitori de ikita"  
Ano hito no koe ga kikoeta chikai soba de  
_

It was him. Standing right in front of me. Or maybe it was above, for I was looking up slightly and my neck was stretched. He looked the same as before. His hair a beautiful blond color and tied into a ponytail, his eyes shaded with a wonderful aqua-blue shining with concern and understanding, his soft pink lips curved up slightly into a warm smile, his face and skin, pale yet glowing…

His arm was extended and his hand was right there, within reach. Then suddenly, he spoke, and his voice was as clear and as beautiful as I could remember.

"Come now, you've been alone for far too long. It's time for you, to come with me. You must be tired."

The last lines of my song came, and I felt like crying. I grasped his hand tightly in mine, never wanting to let go. It grew bright, and a soft glow consumed me.

_Yume no naka de nandomo kiita koe  
Yasashiku mune ni hibiki wataru  
Odayaka na hikari  
Watashi o tsutsun de  
Waratteru  
_

I felt the corners of my lips tug up. It didn't happen for a long time, but now…

I guess it's different now. I can be with you again, and as I finished my song I realized this was all real, and one final thought crossed my mind before everything seemed to disappear in a burst of white light.

_Waratteru…_

I can smile again.

**A/N: I own nothing!**

**This was just some random typing I did and I ended up with this. Huh… sorry if it sucks, I shouldn't have put it in here in the first place. But, I didn't want to waste my efforts –hey, this did took up some effort no matter how lame it is. *laughs***

**So… review? Please? But, negative comments have a bad effect on me -once I didn't write anything for weeks-, so please take it easy.**


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